perksof

I read this on Twitter yesterday:

"Maybe Kanye West will grab the microphone at Patrick Swayze's funeral and be like "Michael Jackson had the best death of the year!" Zing!"

- http://twitter.com/TheFatJew

It took me 2 hours, but I finally listed all my DVD's on Amazon:

Buy my shit, thanks.
Buy my shit, thanks.
Buy my shit, thanks.
Buy my shit, thanks.
Buy my shit, thanks.
Buy my shit, thanks.

Next, CD's. This is exhausting.

I bought a 640GB external harddrive last night for $90.

My plan tonight is to go to the gym & then spend the remainder of the evening with my laptop. I'm going to move all my music and applications (that I use) to the external and then wipe my laptop clean using the discs that came with the computer when I bought it.

I could not be more excited to geek out tonight.

I might even order myself a pizza. Pizzies!

1. YOUR SPY NAME (middle name and current street name):
Rose Frankford

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (grandfather/mother on your dad's side and your favorite candy):
Norma Goodbar

3. YOUR RAP NAME (first initial of first name and first two or three letters of your last name):
C Wag

4. YOUR GAMER TAG (a favorite color, a favorite animal):
Green Terrier

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, and city you were born in)
Rose Chester

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (first three letters of your last name, last three letters of mother's maiden name, first three letters of your pet's name)
Wag Pin None

7. JEDI NAME (name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards):
Anitsirhc Kconnip

8. PORN STAR NAME (favorite name, the street you grew up on):
Chloe Ravenwood

9. SUPERHERO NAME ("The", your favorite color and the automobile your dad/mom drives):
The Green Matrix

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME (first name of the main character in the last film you watched, last food you ate):
Drew Chicken Broccoli

I stayed away from the internet for a week. It's been a very successful 6 days. Tomorrow would have made 7, but after the dishes were done, the shower was scrubbed and I ran the vacuum, there was nothing left for me to do.

I cannot believe Michael Jackson died. Having a PYT tattoo feels so strange.

I wonder how long I can go without updating Twitter...

I'm so addicted to the internet.
I can't come home and snuggle up on the couch without getting bored.


I think I have a problem.

Dear RCN,

YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING INTERNET/CABLE/PHONE PROVIDER I HAVE EVER DEALT WITH. Every single time I want to get on the internet, I have to "refresh" my modem. I could be online for a while with no problems and then ALL OF A SUDDEN YOUR SERVICE JUST... SHUTS. OFF. I get kicked out of the site I'm on and not only do I have to get off my fat, lazy ass and "refresh" my modem, but I often have to restart my computer. I have yet to watch a television program straight through. Your shitty service decides to black out and then bring static to my screen right before INITIALIZING THE SYSTEM... which basically means I can't do a DAMN THING for at LEAST a few minutes. Who won Top Model? NO CLUE, MY TV WAS INITIALING. Did any of the 16 Duggar kids fall of the edge of the canyon? No idea, MY TV WAS INITIALING. How was Britney's performance? It was terrible.. I saw the whole thing.

You are a bullshit excuse of a company and I'll be checking my next bill with a magnifying glass to make sure I get each and every credit Shirley promised me.

I've heard about numerous people getting bit by bugs.
It's scary and two of those people now have Lime Disease.

Kids, try your best not to get bit. Cause shit's nasty.

still just as funny as the first time i watched it.

TopShop

Now all I have to do is get down to a size 12.

I've been working extra hours lately so I haven't had much time to read up on current events.

From Philly.com:

Gov. Rendell will pay an unprecedented visit today to the SEPTA Board of Directors, which is expected to approve an 11 percent fare hike for July, then consider an additional 20 percent boost and 20 percent service cuts for September.

...

The 11 percent fare increase that is expected to be approved today would leave the base cash fare at $2 and would not require SEPTA to make any service cuts.

It would be SEPTA's first fare increase since 2001 and is in line with the rising cost of living in the past six years.

But if SEPTA feels compelled to approve the more drastic "doomsday" plan, the base cash fare would rise from $2 to $2.50, tokens from $1.30 to $1.80, a TransPass from $18.75 to $25 weekly and from $70 to $95 monthly, and one-way Regional Rail fares would rise by as much as $1 during peak times and $2.50 off-peak.

Phillyist.com used one of my photographs in their article about how much Septa sucks:

Genius.

Link: Lego Suicides

1. Saw a dead homeless man lying in a pool of his own blood, outside of the 7-11 at 16th & JFK in Center City.

2. Opened my email at work and read this:

Hi everyone. Sorry for the mass email but I need your help.
I've been babysitting a duck named Morgan the past few days. He's been sitting on my desk, in a jar of water (don't ask) and when I left last night he was fine and happy.

When I came in this morning his jar was empty with the exception of his shell and someone left a ransom note for his safe return.

For the person who has him, you can keep him. He wasn't mine anyway. :)

3. While walking to the subway, I noticed 3 old ladies walking, and watched as one of the ladies tripped out of her sandal and fell flat on her face, hard.

4. Watched as a man on the subway sold girl on girl porn to two friends who were on the phone with what sounded like their boyfriends. I felt so dirty after listening to them.



Oh, I took this a few days ago and I'm in love with it.

I've started to collect email addresses for my Monthly Newsletter, so message or email me at cw3283@gmail.com if you'd like to subscribe!

Fellow Photographers & Artists!!



If you are interested in contributing your work
especially if you have an Etsy Shop that you would like to promote
please contact me as well.

365of24

add me.



buy my prints.

vox: cwPHOTOGRAPHY

add me:

Photo of the Week: one weekly photograph.
365 days of 24: one photograph everyday to document my 24th year.
Everyday at TLA: one daily (M-F) photograph to document my 9-5.

New photography myspace!

Creative Captures Photography

Dearest Wife, this is what I want for Fathers Day

Every year you ask what I want for Father's Day with the kids (conveniently?) sitting right in front of us, and every year I provide G-rated suggestions because (call me a prude) its sorta not appropriate to ask for sexual favors in front of the kids. So in the off chance you're reading the rants or looking for a poolboy, even though we don't have a pool, here's what I really want:

I want to wake up to you sucking my cock. Defined, this means that I'm asleep and you go down on me while I'm asleep, not after 45 minutes of me pretending to be asleep and dreaming of winning the blow job lottery. Please skip the requisite if-I-have-to sigh and eye rolling for one day.

I want a breakfast including eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit. No carb-packed wheat-byproducts, nothing frozen, nothing out of a box, and especially nothing in individually wrapped servings.

I want to have a fun day doing anything except what is on the honey-do list. Anything on the do-honey list is perfectly OK.

Examples:
Giving me grief while watching Nascar Sunday is not a good idea.
Giving me head while watching Nascar Sunday is a great idea.
Asking me to dig some holes in the backyard is not a good idea.
Asking me to plug your hole in your backdoor is a great idea.
Taking the kids out for a while and letting me nap would be nice.
Taking my cock out and sucking it after my nap would be nicer.

For dinner, I want a slab of red meat. Fresh, premium, not shrink wrapped. BBQ'd, not nuked or broiled. Rare. So rare a good veterinarian can revive it. A tall, cold beer. And fresh vegetables on the side, although it's unlikely I'll eat them, so I don't know why I bothered mentioning them.

After the kiddies are asleep, I want sex. Uninhibited, sweaty, porn star sex. Gone for the night is the bored housewife in boring clothes reading a boring book, I am going to be the dominant male and you to be my submissive anything-to-please-daddy fuck-slut.

I want you wearing something erotic. Defined, 'erotic' includes leather, lace, high heels, crotchless, racy, etc. 'Erotic' probably includes that thing you bought for Valentines Day two years ago that never made it out of the drawer. 'Erotic' does not include baggy jammies, grandma underwear, furry slippers, sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweatsocks, or the asexual garments you wear the other 364 days.

I want my cock sucked again, deep throated, like you can't get enough, and when I cum, I want you to savor it like it's Godiva white chocolate. Don't give me that 'it tastes funny'crap; lick it up and suck it up and smile all the way.

I want you fucking me like its the last dick you'll be getting for a while. Acceptable positions are on your knees, on top, doggie style, bent over, hanging from the ceiling, pretty much anything except missionary on the bed. Slap your ass cheeks, rub your clit, pinch your nipples, talk dirty, suck me often, and most importantly, finger your ass. Finger your ass until its ready for my cock, then beg for my cock up your ass and fuck it like you did with your pussy.

When I cum, yes, I'm cumming in your ass. I don't care if you get the runs tomorrow, I am cumming in your ass. Because it feels great. And then I'll fuck your ass until I'm limp and resigned to waiting another 365 days to tap your ass again.

Because Dear Wife, it's Father's Day, my day, and that's what I really want.

website

Go check out their work.

Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...have a laugh and read on.

Complaint Letter of the Year

The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....)

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care; it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.

British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.


John

Little Creatures
Friday, December 1 2006, 6:00pm - 10:00pm

Scott Musgrove and Jeremy Fish: A two-person show at Lineage Gallery

Opening reception: Friday December 1, 2006 from 7 to 10pm
Show on display: December 1st–December 28th, 2006

Lineage Gallery
21 N. 2nd Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106

Telephone 215.928.0980

Check out his stuff here:
sillypinkbunnies

More about the gallery:
Lineage Gallery

I can't help but think that while he was screaming, he knew what he was doing... and he was planning this suit from the minute they asked for identification.

LA Times

You Tube video

Daily Bruin

If there is someone in the same building as me, without the necessary identification to be in the building AND they’re resisting police orders…

I would want the police to take the correct steps to get that person out of the building.